My Support Forums - View Single Post - UPDATE -The Continuing Saga.........

lynn09 · Mar 22, 2010, 05:17 PM

First - attorney. Last November, he apologized for being a cad and said he would refund my $2k retainer and send me my file; to date, I have seen neither. Big suprise (NOT)! Will have to file a formal grievance against him with the Bar - just what I need - more paperwork!

Finally got up the courage to make an appointment with a new internist (Primary Care Physician) in April - haven't had a PCP since 2006 - last PCP committed suicide in 2008 after he found out my abusive family had provided false information regarding my medical and personal history to him without my knowledge or consent and, as a result of him not informing me of their unauthorized interference in my healthcare, he was responsible for me losing $80,000 in long-term disability benefits.

So, it has only taken me 3 years to be able to pick up the telephone and try to get a new T after the last one betrayed my trust, violated my rights, and helped my abusive family members destroy my life.

Anyway, I did it - I made the appointment and saw my new T a week ago last Friday. He's a PhD Clinical Psychologist and teaches at a local university. He isn't on my current Medicare Advantage plan, so I went ahead and paid the full price for the initial evaluation - figured he was worth it. He almost fell out of his chair when I started to relate the events of the past 11 years, and said he could understand why I have trust issues. I really liked him, so I began researching other Medicare Advantage plans that he accepts (I have until March 31st to change), otherwise it would cost me $140 per session.

Last Wednesday, I called the woman who handles his insurance and billing (she works out of her home for a number of local therapists). I started talking to her - voice sounded familiar - her name is !!!!!!! Turns out that she is the very same person who was working in my last T's office who actually participated with my last T in betraying my trust and violating my rights!!! I managed to control myself and had a "pleasant" conversation with her, then had a complete meltdown after I hung up the telephone - my PTSD and MDD are triggered to the max! This also set off my immune-system disorder - red, swollen, and rashy from head to toe, skin is burned and really hurts, running fever, my heart is doing a tap-dance in my chest, and I have broken out in shingles again!!! All I can do is shake. Had very little sleep Wednesday night, less Thursday night, none Friday night, and only a couple of hours Saturday and Sunday.

I'm a wreck - my house is a wreck - nothing around here is getting done...... Wrote my new T a 14-page e-mail regarding my experience with my last T and this woman and sent it to him earlier today - those of you who know me know that 14 pages is an extremely abbreviated version of anything for me. I left it up to my new T to decide whether or not we go forward with my therapy, although I am NOT comfortable with THAT woman being privy to my confidential information, especially since she still speaks of my ex-T in glowing terms.

I can't think straight, so I apologize if I make no sense in my responses to any of your threads. I finally find someone who can keep up with me (and actually takes notes) and I get slapped in the face with THIS!! If this is the universe's idea of a joke, I don't think it's funny! I keep cycling through emotions - anger, grief, defeat, shock, numb, anger, grief, defeat, shock, numb......right now, I'm going into numb again and shutting down. I wish I could take meds.

I know - I should just shut up and go back and read what I post to other people's threads here! lynn09