I'm just really sad and tired today. I am working on an exciting project that pays well and it looks like the project will be extended. All good news, so you'd think I'd be feeling pretty good but what is eating me up inside is the uncertainty of our financial future. The next few months look promising but what then? I should be grateful that I have some income in the near term but the reality is that we also have a lot of debt. I am hoping to accumulate enough cash over the next few months to be in a position to negotiate with the credit card companies to settle all our credit card debt. There is also a possibility we might file for bankruptcy, although I want to try to avoid this. There is also the possibility that we may lose our home.

The consulting project I am working on is at a big company. I see all these people with full-time jobs and I feel inferior. My partner in the project is doing well financially. And I feel inferior. I came on here last night and said I was going to try to do an experiment about focusing on the positive. I feel so physically and mentally tired today that it's difficult for me to have a positive perspective. I think I'll go to bed earlier tonight and bounce back tomorrow. I may also have allergies, which makes me feel lousy as well as making it difficult to think. I think I'm going to bed now...