I also have been through all this stopped the bloody meds and unfortunately after five days I went back on them. I think realistically even if you are going to go med-free you still need to do it under medical supervision otherwise the withdrawl synmptoms can be pretty nasty. I see my psych tomorrow and funny the things you have said I am going to put to her as I dont want the rest of my life being about medications, I've had enough.
I am also seeing a therapist privately she has nothing to do with the psych team. Last time I saw her she asked me if I wanted to get rid of my racing thoughts, ?The answer now is no I am lonely without them, weird?? I never thought I would admit it. Then she told me that bipolar is WHO I AM and you cant just get rid of it!! (what a revelation!) Then she explained that to get rid of the racing thoughts is like trying to turn a greyhound (dog) into a tortoise! Who the hell wants to be a tortoise (slow and lifeless) I used to be fast I am now like a ****ing tortoise! (slow and lifeless) cos of the ****ing meds and I hate it. I see my psych tomorrow so watch the space.