I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I think that you should go ahead and speak up for yourself. I'm not sure what your living arangements are, but you might need to move. In the mean time, I would let him know that if the kids get hurt again, and if he brings any woman into your house again (without you being there) that his @$$ will be put out on to the street so quick that he won't know what hit him. You have already have told him things, and he has ignored your requests about certain things. If he doesn't want to listen then it's time to get a little tough with him. I would also tell your friend that you don't apperciate her coming into your house without you being there. It would be something different if he wasn't attracted to her. I wouldn't care if I made him mad. This is one of those things that I would listen to my gut feeling about.