For the most part, I don't think it makes any difference if I pat the guy on the back or kick him in the ***. If a man wants to get sober, almost nothing can stop him from getting sober. And conversely if he doesn’t, almost nothing can get him sober.

But if extending the hand of help keeps me away from that next drink for another day, then good for me. Sometimes I give the guy standing on the street corner holding the cardboard sign, a buck or two. I know that he is going to drink that money up. I give him the money because I want to, no other reason.

If I take time to carry the message to the other guy, I don’t do it so much for him. It might help him, who knows, but it will definitely help me.

In the meetings I attend, if a man shows up and tells us he wants to drink more than he wants to stay sober, someone around the tables will probably give him a sawbuck and tell him to go get drunk on it. Never deny an alcoholic the opportunity to suffer. Nothing else can or will change his mind but pain.

I don’t think my tough love or intervention will work that well with some people. Deep and abiding spiritual pain, now that works wonders with an alcoholic. That’s God’s version of tough love.