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Originally Posted by peaches100
I don't think my mom qualifies for the diagnosis.
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Acceptance about what really went on and who your mom really is would be helpful I think.
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Originally Posted by peaches100
I don't think she intends to be hurtful.
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Exactly, my mom was a "nice" Narcissist.
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Originally Posted by peaches100
She just seems truly like she is totally unaware and doesn't notice when she's being selfish or failing to consider others' feelings.
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Exactly again. This happens to these types of people because they don't have the "hardware" developed to detect and respond to these types of things. This is why it is called a personality disorder.
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Originally Posted by peaches100
If she knew how i was feeling about her, she would probably feel bad about it.
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Except these types are unable to "hear" or "see" this kind of stuff because they don't have the hardware developed.
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Originally Posted by peaches100
i still love them and wouldn't want to damage the relationship further.
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Maybe this is what is keeping you stuck? You would rather keep what you have, as painful as it is, rather than take a chance and rock any boat? How could it get worse? I don't think that your mother would abandon you? I think that all the work that you need to do is in your own head. I can just about guarantee that your mother will never change. No matter what you change in your head and in your responses to her she will continue on as the cheerful, clueless lady. Whatever you do will not affect her. She most very likely has boundaries of steel. The outside world cannot affect her ever. I have learned these things from watching my mother for over 40 years.
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Originally Posted by peaches100
The cavern just seems so big and bottomless. I'd rather not be aware of it at all because when i pay attention to it, it hurts.  |
And maybe this is why you feel paralyzed right where you are? You don't want to move right or left?