((((Darkside35)))) - you're very brave for sharing your story. I feel so sorry this happened to you. Let me assure you, this was rape and you did nothing wrong. You didn't deserve this and you can't second guess your actions or in-actions. It's horrendous that your supposed friends watched. Just because you were there or you didn't fight hard enough, doesn't mean it wasn't rape. You said "NO" and it wasn't your decision. I'm so sorry this was your 1st sexual experience and you deserved to have a beautiful 1st experience. Even if a person is naked, they can still say NO and be respected.

It's very good that you're dealing with this and willing to talk with your therapist. Don't ever feel you some how brought this on. There's only one person to blame here and that's the rapist. Talking and placing blame where it belongs will give you back your power. He can never take your dignity and self respect. Thank you for sharing your story and pain - your story didn't offend me. I wish you strength in healing Darkside.