I understand wanting to appear like one is normal when one isn't but I have found that fosters more resentment and anger. Which in turn causes me to do things in a big destructive way and then people really know that I'm mental! It was hard in the beginning of my relationship with my husband to be normal and not let him know but when I lost my cookies one night and the law had to be called, the charade was over. It has take a few years of a lot of heart to heart conversations, tears, tantrums and hissy fits with my beloved to make him understand about the inner me. I couldn't ask for a better person to be by my side when no one else has been. I'm with turquoisesea on the gentle hugs. Keep the faith.