'the first time' is a big deal---it shouldn't be. what happened to me was total fear of being not ready for parenting. this may 'cold-foot' men. also, men may fear being 'in-love'. it's risky. there's almost certainly no reason to blame yourself for anything worse than youth---which will be your best ally. if he's the right one, he'll come back. if not---you can do better.

pirate