Hi HZ3006,
I know what you are feeling. Its very confusing when the one you love has issues of their own. I too have thought that my love and commitment will be enough to heal a damaged man. He can be so closed, so distant, that it just breaks my heart. Over the years I have become much better at coping with this, I have learned not to take it personally, which was a great learning for me and something very important I needed to figure out for my own growth - its not always about me! :-) It is just his problem. But, and there is a but, after all these years I still wonder if it is worth it. In the cold times I wonder if I wouldn't be better of finding someone capable of loving me in the way I would like to be loved, as I know there are healthy happy people out there, and yes, I also know no-one is perfect. If you continue with this, be prepared to make this man your "project" - it will take a lot of you, but you will learn a lot about yourself and when he opens up and lets yo in it will all seem worthwhile, like the sun shining on a cloudy day. Therapists may tell you this is co-dependance, and in a way it is. But people are harmed and damaged and worthy of love, and sometimes we need to sacrifice in order to help them. The main criteria I would consider if it is worth it or not is how much he is prepared to put in too. Is he willing to work to address the pains of his past? It doesn't have to be therapy, but it does need self awareness and a willingness to change and grow, a genuine desire to not forever be shaped and determined by what has happened in the past. He needs to want to learn how to love deeply, fully, maturely. Then you have something to work on. In addition, he needs to care for you. He needs to put the effort in to make you happy, to respond to your requests and try and change his behaviour in small areas. This is how we encourage people to love.
It sounds lie you have a good start, as you can talk. Maybe talk some more. Be emotionally brave now, so you have no regrets later. You are a warrior of the heart. Let you own strength and capacity for love sustain and guide you. Come what may, you will be ok.
I wish you all the best!