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lynn P. · 10:18 AM

Some of you may know my MIL passed away a few days ago. I feel guilty speaking about a recently deceased person, but I can't hold it in. My husband had many family feuds with his family and it was always about money. When our business was doing well his mother always felt entitled to our money and if she didn't get it - she would make his other siblings turn against him. He was alienated for the last 2 yrs and she passed without having contact. I asked him 2 months ago if he would be okay if this happened and he said he could handle it. It turns out her death wish was to forbid my husband and another son from attending her funeral. His one brother didn't listen and went anyway, but my husband didn't and niether did we. He claims this fact, doesn't bother him too much because the BOND was broken a long time a go. He feels her wish was for everyone who comes to her funeral, would know there's something drastically srong between her and my husband - so he wanted to let her have that wish.

Now the second part of this dilema. My SIL was very close to my girls from the ages 4-8 - they're 8 and 12 now. She went against her mothers wishes and would visit us and showered my girls with gifts and 'love'. I put this is quotation because I now don't feel it was sincere. So this was 4 yrs ago and all of a sudden she completely stopped calling and coming over. My girls used to cry from missing her and couldn't understand why she stopped seeing them. I couldn't call because I grew conditioned to their family problems and learned to stay out of it. So I've been wondering all these years why she just stopped COLD.

So my husband went to visit her yesterday and he said "she stopped visiting because it was making her mother UNHAPPY." She(SIL) is a 50 yr old woman with a mind of her own. I'm sensing now that my MIL has passed, that my SIL is going to try to, simply waltz back into my girls life, like nothing happened and expect it to be the same. The problem is I'm SO DONE with them, especially since the problem with my own marriage - I feel COMPLETELY detached and have zero interest in seeing them. I truly felt she loved my kids and when she dropped them, I was very hurt beyond any repair because my girls were hurting. Now I'm afraid my husband will get coerced by her(them) to come back into my life and my girls. I told him I have no interest in seeing her or forgiving - but I fear he won't respect my wishes since he's vulnerable. Sorry for the length of this post - I feel I could write a book.