I believe you have every right to step up and speak out. Your husband is wrong and if you don't let him know your suspicions now, it could get out of control (i.e. affair). Do you or anyone else notice whether she appears "interested" in your husband?
Next, I would also never tolerate another child treating my kids the way you described. Put down your other foot on this one.
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"The only normal people are the one's you don't know very well." -Dr. Alfred Adler, Father of Individual Psychology
http://www.trans4mind.com/mind-development/adler.html
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