i get sexual thoughts about my brother sometimes and i try to block them out but i see images in my head sometimes before i can stop them. i want to do anything to get rid of them but i can't and i feel so disgusting and dirty. I feel like crying whenever i think about it but i can't stop the thoughts sometimes
I want to talk to my psychologist when i start seeing her again but i'm so afraid she won't think this is part of OCD and will make me feel bad about it and like act like i actually want to do these things with him! i'm so scared and i dont know what to do.
i'm really afraid to share this but sometimes when my brother is around and the thoughts try to come up into my head i start feeling weird down there but i don't want it in my head! i don't want to do anything with him and i don't feel like i do with crushes with him. so why is this happening? Is this just brought on along with the sexual thoughts or does it mean i really want him?
I looked this up and i found this on wikipedia
"However, the sufferer's constant focus on not becoming aroused or checking that they do not become aroused may lead to 'groinal response'. Many OCD sufferers take this groinal response as actual arousal, when in reality it is not."
So maybe it's just normal (well within the disorder)? i only get a little bit of lubrication but i freak out so bad! i don't want this to happen! what's wrong with me?
Please help me and tell me what you think or if you have experience with this too. i'm too afraid to tell my psychologist. i'm 16 if it means anything