Lexicon,

I read your post & tried hard to reply.....only it brought out too many issues of my own & didn't feel that I could provide you the support you deserve. My Mother died of cancer this last January 8. Unfortunately the feelings I have are nothing but anger towards her. I guess I have a hard time when people have such wonderful feelings about their Mothers & I was left with the horrible memories of the trauma she caused with the choices she made.

I do hope you will be able to put your feelings into perspective & realize how lucky you are to feel the way you do about your Mother.

I am sorry you are going through a difficult time....I think the first year is supposed to be the hardest given the fact that we can think back at the times just a year before when we had them with us.

Be kind to yourself,
Debbie