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lynn09 · Mar 25, 2010, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

Hey Lynn, thank you for asking this =D And it's funny when i chose my username I just thought of an image and turquoise is my favorite colour, I didn't think it would be hard to manage! So I'm glad to have a nickname

Right - love your name and the color, but it is hard to type sometimes when I'm having one of "those" days.

Quote:

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

Anyways,there are several things going through my head when triggered.
1. Cellist does not equal good job.
2. It is very hard to enjoy playing cello now (depression? other things? who knows)
3. I am frustrated at what I sound like and where I am in comparison to others. I used to never compare but now I do more often.
4. Lack of belief in classical music: again, I never THOUGHT, I just did... I have realized that classical music isn't reaching a lot of people and hearing more modern stuff has turned me off to the repetoire at times
5. Because I'm doing cello I'm not doing other things. I feel not mentally stimulated - I see other majors doing things like maths, sciences, reading, computer science, etc LEARNING, THINKING, and I feel my mind turning to mush which drives me up a wall. Also these alternatives offer more potential money as a career prospect.

So basically I'm feeling unsure about my choice of major, I'm feeling regret. Other times I still like what I do well enough, but I just am having trouble finding an application for it in real life. I feel I want to be doing something more REAL. Yet I feel stuck in my current position, both money time... and ... I still am connected to cello I've spent many years on it already. Sometimes that time feels like a waste.

Lynn - I'm sorry this got long, I know it can be hard for you to read, thank you for your thoughts and support, I really do appreciate it *hugs*.

Thank you EVERYONE for your support as well

You've done good, sea! I think you have really identified at least some of your internal conflict! You should print this out and review 1-5 frequently - jot down any other feelings and thoughts you have about each, and about any other aspects of your life, as well. I can't tell you what to do, but I can give you some things to think about.

You say that you feel stuck in your current position due to time and money you have already invested in your current major; think about how you will feel about it 5, 10, 15 years down the road if your heart and soul are not being nourished by what you are doing. If you are going to do something for the rest of your life, you really do need to find your passion and follow your bliss.

There are a number of ways to approach this and you have to find what works best for you - what will net you the greatest rewards (emotionally and financially) with the least amount of stress. Sometimes it's easier to make changes early on - once you are out having to work and support yourself, it can be more difficult to make career changes; so it might be easier for you to make the change now. Or, you may want to go ahead and complete your current degree program, then explore further education in another area that would only require maybe a couple of years depending on what credits you have already accumulated that can be applied to another degree program. Or, you might want to continue with your current program, but add or audit a course in math, science, or whatever else interests you to find out how you feel about it - to find out if the grass really is greener on the other side or if it just appears that way.

Most importantly, you need to be completely honest with yourself about what you think and how you feel about whatever you are doing. There is nothing worse than feeling trapped in a situation - you are not trapped - you do have options, and even if you decide to change career directions, you will always have your music and that will never be a waste whether it provides your livelihood or becomes something you do for pleasure.

Please let me know how you are getting on and if I can be of further support. HUGS to you, too. Your Friendlynn09