Hi Echoes, thanks for sharing your story! I know how frustrating it can be to want to hold onto something that is gone. And I also understand how swept away we can be in a first relationship - everything seems hightened, both our deep feelings for this person, and our obsessions about otherwise trivial things. Please don't think I am patronising when I say this is partly because of teenage hormones! You are caught up in biology just as much as a woman who suddenly feels she can't live without having a child - this is normal, this is nature, even though feeling out of control because of our bodies can drive us crazy sometimes! :-) The important thing I think is that you learn from this relationship, and it seems like you have quite good self awareness that you understand what was going on with you, even if you couldn't change it. That's ok too. Don't feel discourgaed, most of us don't go on to spend the rest of our lives with the first person we have a relationship with, but the fact you are still on friendly terms indicates you are already developing a kind of maturity you can be proud of. The next step in dealing with your obsessions is to realise we all have different experiences in life, and to try and put yourself in the other person's shoes. Imagine next time you meet a girl and fall for her, if she was to obsess about your relationship with this first girl? How would you feel? Be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up over this, but also recognise that sometimes a person's previous experience has taught them important lessons that actually makes them better at relationships the next time around. Just like you will be in your next one. Our experiences, if we are wise enough to learn form them, make us better, more rounded people. Learn from this, and allow your partners in life to learn from theirs too. I wish you all the best Echoes!