I realized that I keep asking T if she cares about me because I don't feel like I deserve her caring. It is like I can't believe that she actually does. At the same time I want to feel cared about. I want to feel like someone cares about me. But I'm also scared because all the people who were supposed to care about me hurt me or didn't stop it. And I don't want T to hurt me. (I know this is faulty logic, but it is still there in my brain.) And I'm not sure if she does care about me that it wont just go away if I do something wrong. Or if I say the wrong thing. I hate feeling like I need other people. I want her to care about me, but I don't want to get hurt. And I'm scared that she is just saying she cares because that is what she thinks I want to hear and she doesn't want to upset me. Instead of telling me how bad she really thinks I am. And I feel like she is getting annoyed with me asking if she cares about me, but I just can't seem to help it.