Jenni,

Don't give up. Don't let bipolar win. Don't become a statistic. I don't think you are a mean, hateful, lazy woman. You have an illness that makes you feel like you are. It's a mean illness. Has your husband read any books or anything about bipolar and how to help you? Is there anyone who can watch your children for you one or two afternoons a week to help ease the pressure a bit?

I know you're hurting, and I know it's frustrating. I know that having to have medications adjusted all the time is a pain in the arse. The mood swings suck. Things that are no big deal for others are very stressful for us. It's not fair. Nothing about bipolar is fair. But Jenni, I believe in you. I think you're a strong person. It takes a strength to ask for help. It takes a strength to express how you are really feeling. And you've come here and done that.

Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself right now. If you need to have your meds adjusted, get in as soon as you can. If they don't have anything open soon enough and you don't feel like you can make it, get into an ER. MAKE someone listen to you. You deserve to receive help.

I hope that things look up soon. Keep posting and letting out those bottled up feelings. We'll be here to listen and help if we can.