Whats it like to have calmness in your head?
Whats it like to be happy? For real without pretend?
Whats it like to not be in pain? In body mind and soul?

Why and how can my husband wake up at 530 every morning happy? How does he see the good in everything and everyone?

I feel like getting out of bed and facing the day and the tasks I won't finish (if I even start them) I feel like that is just enough to sleep forever.

I have been having one of those weeks. I want to live in a dream b/c a dream is so much better than reality. My truth is too much. why now? the peace and calmness of ending everything has never seem so ....not scary...right..just right. I'm so done with being this way.exhausted. 20 years is too much of pain and suffering and hurt and shame ...............