swtjane,

You seem to have alot going on and from 38 years of experience, it sounds like depression has tapped you on the shoulder and wants to dance.

You really should move past the ex b/f. It sounds as if he's moved on. Is there any way that your parents could help you get reestablished? Maybe co-pay for a regular doctor's appt. to get you on meds?

I hope you feel better soon. Please post again soon, so we know how you are doing?