I know how you feel! I was actually just posting about this...my anti-anxiety meds made me exhausted but helped with the anxiety, now that the tiredness is starting to wear off I'm really anxious again, so the doc (an emergency doc, my reg. doc is off this week) increased the clonazepam so now I'll be not anxious but I'll be exhausted again.

You aren't a failure!! I think someone talked about this on another post, but just like diabetics have to take insulin every day, a lot of people with bipolar have to take meds every day. Our chemistry is a little crooked so we need the meds to try to get it straightened out. It's not fun, and the side-effects SUCK, but we gotta do what we gotta do. I get discouraged but then I think "at least we have medication options, years ago the treatment for mental illness was a 'rest cure' or you were just locked away for the rest of your life". I figure that it's better to be tired or overweight or whatever and be able to have some semblance of a normal life than to be locked up with the key thrown away, you know?

Anyhow, take care, and I hope that things get better soon!