I'm sorry for taking up space in the forum, Im sorry for everything. It's back.Not fully yet, but I can feel it. Everything Is triggering. I feel like such a stupid naeve kid. No one stays happy, God and the afterlife aren't real, nothing lasts forever. I'm 15, I shouldn't get my hopes up like that. But then again, Im incredibly stupid and dumb. I don't deserve to be happy, and I shouldve remembered that. I won't ever be helpful, and I can't have children. I WONT!! I won't risk giving them depression too. And having such a useless mum would trigger. I feel maternal as well. I'M 15!!! I'm not meant to be maternal. But I'm just messed up badly. I'm useless, damaged goods. I'm so pathetic, I feel terrified right now, I feel like a baby. For ten minutes Ive just been thinking; "someone please help me, don't let this happen again," over and over. How stupid am I?! I suppose Im just posting this to vent. I should give up now, depression is the only thing that will ever take me.