(((((((((((turquoisesea))))))))))))


Sounds like you're really going through a rough time right now. I don't know if it will help, but my personal philosophy is "no education is ever wasted." In the past three years I've systematically taken (then dropped) Spanish, linguistics, moral philosophy, and logic. I barely passed logic (my brain doesn't work that way apparently ) and linguistics I only found stimulating 20% of the time (and when you're spending 20+ hours/week on linguistics homework, you want to have a wee bit more interest in it than that ). The thing is, even if you hate the course (and for me, I quite often hate my entire degree), what gets me through is that at least you KNOW you hate the course. You can come away knowing EXACTLY why it doesn't work for you, EXACTLY why you can't see yourself doing it for the rest of your life, and it can give you some hints into what kind of stream WOULD interest you. For instance, I learned by taking (and hating) linguistics that I shouldn't take the linguistics option for my degree; I also learned that I am much more suited to literary courses, where I can deal with words and images and stories. And I have learned that I don't REMOTELY care about the history, politics or society of France but that I am so in love with the language that I will even sit through the TERRIBLE lectures and presentations they subject us to here.

My point is, just because you've realized maybe you're not in the right course doesn't mean you're out of options. In fact, you've just opened yourself up to a whole bunch of them. Knowing what you dislike, what doesn't work for you, is just as important as knowing what you DO like. We formulate our desires based on past experience of the negative as much as our yearning for the positive. Maybe cello won't be part of your career. That's fine. You're still coming away with training and hopefully by the end of this, a degree. You don't have to decide anything right now, just let it come to you. Maybe try something new, something you've always wanted to do but didn't, or something you never thought in a million years you could do. And with each experience, remember that whatever your impression, positive or negative, it's always going to be a clue to the person you'll eventually become.