Yes, the stigma in action and the resulting isolation can sadly be part of the reason people attempt or succed at suicide, and then in my case, after 5 days in a coma and many many amazing medical iterventions to save me, the closest people to me in my life were the ones who came at me with either bare naked aggression, or passive aggression - and this commeneced in the first 72 hours when a person with a serious suicide intent (which I was) is most likely to try again. I've been sober in AA for 11 years on top of my mental illnesses and here I was in hospital, having just skirted death just so closely, having to use my assertiveness skills I'd learnt in AA to protect myself when I was just out of a coma!!

I have compassion for what people went through while I was in the coma and repeatedly nearly dying, but hey, I think it's a bit much that they couldn't control themselves enough to not let their aggression spill over onto me. That was two years ago and I have made many efforts to build my relationships with immediate and extended family, but it's all been for nought. My unrequited efforts have brought great suffering onto me and finally I had to take responsibility for pursuing "unrequited love" and made a formal and permanent separation from immediate and extended family. It's a very sad thing, but it makes no difference to the material nature of my daily life, as none of them have been in my life, thus preventing me supporting them and them supporting me.

But I have come to learn my responsibility in all those dynamics - I have been delusional for years about my family relationships, precieving love when it wasn't there. And I looked up delusion and found this great phrase for what you get out of being in a delusion and it's called "deceptive calm". ie, in this case I felt loved, even though I wasn't loved - but it wasn't doing me any good because it wasn't true. It's hard to go from a delusional state to a realistic one - but it's the only way.