Thank you all again.
So many questions:
Who I will see?
What they will say? (the last psychiatrist I saw, 20 years ago now, started off by saying, more or less, "How are you?")
What will they already know? What will they want to know?
How do I make sure I tell them how difficult things are right now? It's so hard for me to be honest and so easy for me to put on a brave face and let it seem that everything is OK.
What will have been said in the referral?
Do I need / would it help to take anything?
How do I start to talk about the "inside" life - and will they believe me if I do?
Will it all get too heavy and leave me frantically backtracking - I couldn't cope with being put in hospital.

The last time the psychiatrist I saw I could hardly understand and that made it even harder - his english was so heavily accented. I'm so so scared.