((((((((((((((kiya))))))))))))))))

Ugh, the things T said sound so scary

I remember when I posted...maybe last week...about not being able to imagine EVER not having T in my life, and you posted that you were that attached to a T before and you were able to move on. And attach again. And since I wrote that post, A LOT of things have shifted in my life, and T is still really important, but I really *can* imagine life without him someday (although I don't want to yet - eeek). I thought that no one could ever, ever accept and help and care for me like T does...but I was wrong.

So, even if there is change ahead, try to hold on to the fact, somewhere in a little corner of your mind and your soul, that it could be good change. It's hard not knowing what's ahead, but that doesn't mean that what's ahead is bad.

Someone told me a couple of days ago to only look 2 feet in front of me...not to try to see any farther into the future that that. And that reminds me of something you said once...about trying to find the thinnest sliver of "now" and to be there. If I can do those things, the fear loosens it's grip a little tiny bit.

Also, kiya...if this clinic can't provide what you need, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, or that you did anything wrong, or that you're in trouble. And it doesn't mean that the clinic is bad or that they don't like you. It means that they can't provide what you need. That's it. You are still you - wonderful, brave kiya.

Sending tons and tons of . Keep posting, okay??