Quote:
Originally Posted by googley
 It hurt. It hurt and I felt vulnerable. I left T feeling so vulnerable and raw. I told T about how I was having trouble believing that she cared about me. And I asked her if she cared about me or if it was just the money. If the money was the reason she cared about me. But she didn't reply. She just went off saying something else. Then at the end she asked if I had anything else I wanted to say. I said that I felt like she was avoiding my question. She said that she wasn't answering it because she didn't think I would believe her. It made it feel like she was avoiding it. It hurt so much when she said that. Like she was saying that it wasn't even worth trying. That hearing it wouldn't help. And it wasn't like she addressed the money part. She did answer it by saying she couldn't do the job if she didn't care. But does that mean that she only cares because it is her job, and hence she doesn't care about me because I'm me. I don't want to just be someone's job. |
OMG - you just said what my mind thinks so often when I go to session!!!
I have even asked T if he would be the type of person who would just pass me by without saying a word to help me if he saw me in the park bawling my eyes out. Or would he stop and check on me as a stranger?
He was honest and said "I am usually lost inside my head and in my own world, and I don't see people outside of myself sometimes. I am working hard on not being that way. So I might not see you crying."
Then I asked him "If you did actually see me crying, would you just walk away because you are a T and I was not paying you? Or would you stop to make sure I was safe or see if you could help me right then?"
His reply shocked me. He said "If I saw you, I would stop. In fact, I have done that a few times in my life when I did see someone in distress. I do care about people. I don't just care because it is my job."
