Hello.

I have been doing some research on narcissists as my therapist believes my mother is one. I keep coming across the statement, Narcissism breeds narcissism. I know my mother's upbringing was a cold, dysfunctional one. I figure if I can learn about why she is the way she is, it might help me to start forgiving her so that we may go forward and heal this rocky relationship.

After years of being in therapy working on childhood issues that didn't directly involve my mother, I am finally at a point where I'm ready to deal with the things that did.

It's time to accept that my mother wasn't there for me instead of making excuses for her and it's difficult and painful to admit that I didn't matter enough to my own mother. We've both been living in our worlds of denial. Mine is that she had a hard life and did the best she could. Hers, is that she had a hard life and did the best she could.

Truth is we both had a hard life and she could've, should've done better. She is getting better at keeping her comments to herself after I told her to stop picking on me. Now she mostly criticizes through back-handed compliments. Example.

"Oh, you look so nice today. That's a great color. Much better than that drab crap you're always wearing."

Anyway, I have a hard time convincing myself that she's NPD because not everything adds up. She does think she is better than some people, but only in small ways. Mostly, she talks down about herself, calls herself dumb and blames herself for everything. (Although it's done in a "grandiose" way.)

Any other adult children of narcissists out there?

Thank you for listening.

Periwinkle Blue