Hippie I'm so sorry to hear your sister was so spiteful to you. It shows a flaw in HER, not you. The things she said about panic attacks, we know aren't true, so please try not to be so upset about it. She must have known what to say to upset you, and the fact she would want to intentionally upset another human being (her own sister!!) says something about her... maybe that's the way she was affected by the abuse, or being around the abuse? Maybe she's not learnt properly how to be caring and understanding. It's a shame but it's not your fault and you don't have to listen to her nasty words.

I do hope you're feeling better. Your sister is nobody to tell you what to do. He is your dad the same as he's her dad, and you get to decide how much contact you want with him. She can tell you she'd like you to see him, but that's all. It's your decision and if you don't want to see him then that's your choice -- you know what's best for you.

Oh and being an adult doesn't mean you have to be able to deal with hurtful things, anybody would be upset, you're not acting like a child at all. I hope you have people around you who can support you. And if not we're all here anyway.

*hugs*