in all my years of therapy in the past i have never talked about how things really were for me.i mean my therapists knew all about abuse and stuff and they would ask me about it i would give one word answers.i had awsom ways to avoid.behaviors mostly that would need to be dealt with instead of feelings.so i never talk about it.EVER!! i really feel if i speak my world will just crash out of controle.god i go over a thousand possable outcomes and none are good it is totally paralizing.im good at it for so many years she cant even trick me.so i sit in silence for the whole session.it isnt uncomfortable because i get so paniced i check out .i didapear in my head and next my time is up although last session i was accually thare for the last few and it was all i could do to not run out i tried and she stopped me and told me i still had time and so i checked out again.im just terrified.