Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1
in all my years of therapy in the past i have never talked about how things really were for me.i mean my therapists knew all about abuse and stuff and they would ask me about it i would give one word answers.i had awsom ways to avoid.behaviors mostly that would need to be dealt with instead of feelings.so i never talk about it.EVER!! i really feel if i speak my world will just crash out of controle.god i go over a thousand possable outcomes and none are good it is totally paralizing.im good at it for so many years she cant even trick me.so i sit in silence for the whole session.it isnt uncomfortable because i get so paniced i check out .i didapear in my head and next my time is up although last session i was accually thare for the last few and it was all i could do to not run out i tried and she stopped me and told me i still had time and so i checked out again.im just terrified.  |
It is okay to be where you are. It is the only place you can be. That's what we take to therapy.
If you could bring up what you wrote here in therapy, it could help your therapist see where you are. Not to trick you, to respect and honor your feelings and fears, to sit with you, to reassure you, to hear you. You can talk part of a session and sit quietly the rest. That's okay too.
You reveal yourself at your own pace. You talk about what you want to talk about at any given moment, and change the subject at any time.
It sounds like it's very hard to think of revealing any part of you, including your hobby. That's okay.
It's where you are right now and that is okay. And it is also okay to talk a bit about it if it frustrates you.
