Googley,
I've opened this thread about 50 times, trying to think of something helpful or encouraging to say.
(So if you look at view counts -that's because of me)
I think what you're going through, with wondering if your T really cares about you....maybe that is the part of healing you're going through. That is your work in therapy right now - the painful process of coming to the point of trusting and relying on T, and eventually coming the realization that you will not be hurt.