(((((((((((((Jexa)))))))))))))))
Ugh. You've gotten so many great responses, and I know I'm a little late to this thread.
I'm sorry you were abused by your grandfather.
As someone already said, it was wicked, and evil.
There is no doubt that it was really abuse.

But I know how you feel.
I'm sometimes doubtful that what happened to me was really abuse.
My T has said that the emotional effects of abuse are often harder to deal with than what happened physically. Although what happened to you physically was very very awful, the emotional and psychological parts of it were so so awful as well.

Jexa, have you thought about reporting your grandfather to the police? Or to CYS? ...if he is in contact with young children....
I recently filed a lawsuit against the person who hurt me.
It is awful and scary.....the media picked up the lawsuit and printed my name and some of the details of what happened. And there are people who think i am making it up, and judging me. Sometimes I doubt that I am doing the right thing, but then some other victims contacted me. One person who had been vicitmized 14 YEARS AGO! Although I can understand why she didn't come forward, part of me wishes she had so that maybe I didn't have to be vicitmized either. And that makes me sure that I am doing the right thing if it prevents even just one person from going through what I did.

I'm glad you talked to your T about 'talking about it'. That is a good and brave first step. I'm glad she realizes how important it is.
She sounds like a good T. I'm glad you have her.
What you are going through is scary. You are very courageous.