Sometimes the vaginismus can be both physical and psychological, which is what it sounds like. I also read something about botox being used for this problem - can you ask your doctor about that?

I think every parent should rehearse in their minds, how they're going to repond if they catch their child masturbating - so they don't scar their child forever. I know it difficult for parents to accept their child is capable of sexual feelings(masturbation) but it's very normal. There's no shame in self pleasuring(like that word better). I always mention this tip when talking about it - did you know that fetuses in the womb touch themselves. Slowly get acquanted with your body and gradually work up to even using a mirror - not 1 part of your body is disgusting and you deserve to be comfortable with it and to feel sexual pleasure alone and with your hubby. Best of luck in getting better.