I got a lotta stuff goin on right now, some good, some bad.

First and foremost, there's been some small (but significant) inner progress, if you will. Kyle is a Southern teenage boy who drinks and does drugs and is super promiscuous (even with girls ); he's often rude and belligerent, and is known for being the only one of us who is (ironically) semi-homophobic (normally only if a guy is flirting with/coming on to him directly). However, he came out a couple days ago (idr exactly when, as usual) and was...different. I could kinda "talk" to him internally while he was out, and he promised me that he was sorry and he wouldn't do anything to hurt the system anymore. He didn't really know about us, he just knew that everything was messed up and something was wrong, cause his memory was f***ed up and he didn't know all these people he'd suddenly "wake up" in the midst of. He is super super super protective of women and children, to the point where if he sees one (outside of the system) that's in danger, he'll put himself in harm's way to help them. I pointed out to him that drinking, drugs, and sexual activity is basically like forcing the children inside to do those things; what if one of the littles were to come out while he was like that?? He became immediately remorseful. He also said that since we'd figured out he was another protector, especially against our family (in situations where Koda's rage would only make things worse) when we need to stand up for ourself, it made him super motivated to do that which he was "created" for with all of his being. This is a very good thing .

Also, after Kyle came out and subsequently went away, I successfully initiated our first "family meeting". I've never been able to do this before, but by relaxing I was able to visualize a safe area (kinda the way some people think of their "happy place"). It's a secluded clearing, surrounded by woods on 3 sides and a small cliff and a lake/body of water on the 4th. In the middle, on the biggest tree, is a huge treehouse; don't ask me why, it could be because we always felt safe in trees when we were little (our brother/abuser was never very good at climbing them). Each alter has his/her own room tailored to his/her interests (painting, writing, etc.) There's also a "common" area, where everyone can hang out and watch TV, play video games, etc. and a little area where the littles can color or whatever. It's not like a complete house, cause there's no kitchen or office or anything. And there's no beds cause that can be triggering to some, for obvious reasons. They don't really sleep there; they "sleep", so to speak, whenever they're not holding the consciousness, so there's no need. When we have a meeting, everyone files out of the treehouse and stands in a large-ish circle outside of it. Whoever called the meeting stands in the middle, and everyone else listens, quietly and respectfully, until the speaker is done or they are asked/allowed to speak. If it is needed, the littles stay in the house.

Finally, one of our biggest problems is that several of my alters (especially the teenage girls, which is most of them--lol!) have seperate crushes. One likes Zack, another likes Dusty, another likes Andrew, another likes Grant, and still another likes Emily . Though almost all of them flirt with said crushes, nobody does anything further.

That's all for now.