i like the scatteredness - real impy coming out. i wonder if you would have censored more if you were less tired (i ramble most about myself when i should be in bed).

too tired for full on reply now (and i have a lot to say, lucky you) but thought re: the phd thing - most phds (in australia anyway) stay in academia, because you still need a masters to be a clinical psych. i.e., even if you have a phd, you still need the masters. so there's no reason to get a phd these days, especially when it's so ridiculously competetive and you dont gain much practical experience from it.

old-t was a phd - possibly the most intelligent guy i know - and also a royal prick. stayed with him for 2 years because i had faith in his intelligence. only hurt me in the end.

austin-t quit his phd last year. no way near as smart as old-t, but he's psychodynamic and he speaks to me on a different level. somehow manages to bypass a lot of my analytic thinking and just... i dont know. gets me doing stuff.

he has a strong behavioural approach and he gets trauma. he teaches me a lot about psych theory but he rarely argues things out with me (in a way i'm accustomed to - analytic arguments). i am free to tell him his theories are ******** however and he wont try those out with me again (he now knows i have no patience for DBT ).

ill come back tomorrow. just want to send some love your way .