Byz: I never think you are condescending or officious. I truly appreciate the help and insight you provide me with. Honestly, saying I feel like I am in therapy was a compliment of sorts. You make me think like my t/pdoc does.

I really like the script you suggest. And you are right. I have created a situation where she expects me to act and do certain things, so I have a difficult change to make. I am predicting her behavior, which my t/pdoc HATES!!!, but I do feel she really will tell me to get over it. She tends to be an extremely controlling person (much like my mother, ironically) and very harsh and uncaring about my feelings (or anyone else's, for that matter). If I tell her something makes me sad, she's either going to flat out make fun of me for it, or say that she doesn't care and I need to get over it. (I say this from past experience.)

Also, I know that self-depreciation is a problem and its something I am very bad about doing to myself. I have worked on this for 5 years in therapy and I cannot say I am any less harsh on myself now than I was when I began. I feel weird and I feel like a nutcase and I feel unworthy. I feel like experiences in my life constantly reinforce these beliefs so it is hard to break myself free of them.

Junerain: I am a very shy person and tend to be very reclusive. I do not handle social situations well and am not comfortable at all in attempting to "make friends". In fact, I cannot think of a situation at all where I would be comfortable doing this. Over time I have found that friends have the most power to hurt you and I just cannot handle more hurt. I realize this is all unhealthy and me and my t/pdoc work on this when we have the time. I have never been a group participant type person. The only group situations where I feel even the tiniest bit comfortable is when I am in the position of teacher or instructor, and then I don't feel comfortable interacting on an individual basis outside of the instruction topic.