Trigger used just in case someone is triggered by dissociative symptoms!

This feels weird...being here on the forums for a while but introducing myself here officially for the first time.

I don't know how to explain it...but I feel safer on this forum than anywhere else, maybe even more than anxiety forum.

I am in my head a lot, as some of you may know. I make up stories, or I just retreat when I don't like what's going on in the "real" world. I have lots of derealization, no depersonalization...so I often feel like the "real" world isn't even real! I get angry inside lots which doesn't feel like me, so I push it down which is SO TOUGH.

I recently had an attack where I didn't know who people were sometimes, where I was going, I felt easily threatened...I spaced out (almost like, hypnotized) and couldn't talk until my mind allowed me to.

I have been questioning DD NOS...but even if I don't have it I still feel safe here and am wondering if I can stay?

Also...I do NOT have a doctor to talk to about this, and won't be able to get one for a long time. Same goes with a therapist...I'm on a waiting list. I feel virtually alone except for this website which has been a great help.