Deli! You are NOT a failure, I repeat....NOT A FAILURE.

You have HUMONGOUS walls up. And for good reason. It is going to be HARD for AustinT to reach you past those walls. Did you feel negativity/frustration coming from him? He probably was just making an observation, because I get the feeling that you don't realize how closed off/how quickly you stuff any feelings back. It makes it hard to get to know someone for real when they do that. I know that because I do the same things, Deli!

It is so so so hard. I also am feeling like a failure in T right now too, as my T told me that I make life harder on myself. She is right, but it doesn't make me feel good about myself I know it has to be hard for her knowing I am squirming with anxiety and pain in her office and I can't talk about it.

I feel you.

Keep going.

I am here! Always.