That's interesting, lynn. I had never heard of using botox but it makes sense. It does sound like this is mostly psychological. Sounds like your mother gave you a deep seeded feeling of sex being bad and horrible and that the female body is not beautiful.

Even though I don't think it's aesthetically appealing, I'm amazed with all the stuff we can do with it! Even if you don't yet feel comfortable with the visual aspect, there has to be some appreciation of the process and how beautiful that experience can be.

Not to mention, it is extremely healthy to know your own body. How else will you know when something is wrong? My mom never really had the sex talk with me but I just kind of figure, if I don't know what I feel/look like when I'm normal, how am I supposed to know if I'm abnormal? You need to get in touch with your body and lose this feeling of shame over something that is completely natural and has been going on since the beginning of humans. I would talk to a T about it. Specifically a sex therapist would probably have more experience in that subject. Good luck with everything. I know that condition can be extremely frustrating.