If you are having "unsafe" thoughts, then you really need to talk to your mom, school counselor, your doctor, call 1-800-273-TALK, or 911. I can tell you that dying is not going to solve your problems. "Suicide is not a solution, it is an end before a solution can be found." "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain." Please get the help now. I kept it all hidden for many years, and it slowly started eating me away. I am now trying to rebuild myself. It is a hard job, but I realized that there is a purpose here on Earth that I have not fulfilled yet.