Im broken and hurt and my heart is smashed and I only just realised....its my fault.I dont know what to do im lost inside myself and confused....I dont think Ive been in a depression as deep as this before. I thought suicide was a normal thought for depressed people, but iit wasnt, then i tried to end my own life... That was 2 months ao, now I have thoughts of suicide every second, on how, when, where and then i get spurs of the moment where i really want to do it and Im not scared of trying again...

Im just totally ****ed up...Im the worst friend in the world.... I had a lot of self control in the past 2 months but I dont know how much i have left.

My life sucks...Ive lost 2 amazing friends in the past 2 weeks and its both my fault...My mistakes are bting me in the ***...Im alone and all I wanna do is cry....

I dont have a T i have a teenager social worker I talk to but she doesnt help at all and its pissing me off

The ****ed up thing is, i walk to school, so when I cross a street a hope to god that a car will hit me.............I have nothing left to turn to, im almost emotionless now, at least in my facial expressions, i have 2, looking happy and ******

I wanna cry but I have to goto school so any advice for after I get home, if i make it through the day, would be amazing, just knowing there someone out there for me, even tho i know there isnt

Hillary