I do like what I am studying. I dont understand why I "dont care"

I dont understand why I continually lie to myself "Oh you have plenty of time to do it"

or just sabotage myself basically by not doing it.

I just dont want to do work I think. Ergo, Laziness.

And yeah, I used to think it was depression, but now I dont buy that explaination anymore even though I know I do have depressive tendencies.

No one and I mean No one is going to have patience for me saying "i am depressed" if my grades come back bad this semester. I'm not even going to have patience for myself if it happens again. In fact, all I'll feel is self loathing.

I'm very good at like...instant gratification sort of things like not doing homework or studying. But horrible, absolutely horrible at long term things.

I hate myself.