Lovebirdsflying, I'm a survivor of abuse as well and I have gone through (am going through) much of what you describe. Two therapy visits ago, we talked about how desperately I try to get my mother to acknowledge how badly she abused me and how that's really a very unrealistic thing. My t/pdoc pointed out that its a very rare occasion when an abuser will actually admit to abuse, much less to the abused and definitely even rarer that they apologize or validate the abused's feelings at all. He told me that I have the option of forgiving my mother (which at this point I do not think I am able to do) or just moving on (this is also very difficult to do). But he is stressing to me that I can never expect that anything that happened to me will ever be acknowledged so, in a way, my feelings will never be validated by my mom or family. That is very hard for me. I had a "homework" assignment to write my mother about the abuse and things she won't talk about or acknowledge. It was hard and I still haven't had a chance to really "work" on the letter with my t/pdoc yet, but I do think writing it was a good thing. It really gave me the chance to say things I've not been able to say since I was a child. So, my advice would be to try writing her a no-send letter and let her know how you feel. It may help.

Also, even though I've suffered and "survived" a lot of abuse, I have never been diagnosed as having PTSD so I very rarely read or comment in that forum (if ever?). Don't feel ignored. Sometimes it takes a while for others to see your thread and then to respond.