Your feelings are normal. There have been times I hated my husband -- but we're still together after 30 years.

On the other hand, I haven't spoken to my father in 15 years. You dad sounds similar to mine. You don't have a conversation with my dad--he just talks at you. I just have nothing to say to him.

I hope you are able to find the good in your dad again. It's not entirely my choice that I don't speak to mine--its just emotionally safe.