Hi everybody.

I recently stopped taking my venlafaxine about 10 days ago, and the brain shocks and nausea have become just about bearable. Anyway, I've been ridiculously unmotivated for the past 4 months or so, which is coincidentally about the same time I've been on the meds - I had been missing 2-3 days of work some weeks (my PhD supervisor has been giving me grief about this recently), and have been unable to concentrate on reading anything, or even care about what i'm supposed to be doing. Now that I'm off the drugs, I've suddenly found myself in the position of being able to get things done and go into work every day of the week.

On the flip side, I can't stop thinking about killing myself. This is not a threat (and to qualify it, it was my state of mind pretty much constantly before I started on the venlafaxine, and I never killed myself then). I'm constantly irritable; small, pointless things make me unreasonably angry. I've been self-harming again.

I'm between a rock and a hard place. Either I take the drugs and become completely indifferent (but still basically depressed) and incapable of working, or I don't and become a complete sociopath. I don't know what to do and have nobody to talk to.