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The most recognized treatment for BPD is DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). It is a group (usually once a week) where you learn coping skills and how to change behaviors. Also need to see a DBT therapist once every week and usually need to see a psychiatrist once or twice a month. It's pretty intense, but I know people who have gone through it and have made significant progress in changing behaviors, and several of them are considered recovered. Thought you might want to look into it...best of luck to you both!
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From the movie The Hours: "If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark, and that only I can know. Only I can understand my condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too."
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