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Hunny · Mar 30, 2010, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anderson

We had a new exsperance last weekend. Even at church only a few would talk to us but now more are talking to us and asking us to do things with them.

You are a really wonderful person to talk to Anderson, so this doesn't surprise me at all that they want to spend time with you.

We be scared cause in the past we would let down our garde that we would be hurt by those that had alters under thier control would hurt us.

You are very wary and that is good. Trust is earned not given freely. This is a new group of people to you, I am assuming. Is that correct?

We want to believe that the time of our abuse is over

It is over because you have your protectors watching out for you now, Anderson but the internal others may still have sort-of-like body and mind memories of fear. I struggle with this too.

but when even The Mential health is tell others not to acknowlde the possible of DID/MPD.

How do you know they tell, Anderson. Can you document that and send it on to their superiors. If this is true, it is just so not acceptable..

We have many fears yet want to be free from the ignorance of a few men.

Hallelujah on that! Fear is so dang debilitating. Trust and fear are so closely linked in my experience.

The part that hurts us the most is how long it has been since we had people touch us and not want to hurt us.

People deserve to be touched in a loving way. People can receive a decent, friendly, safe hug but you will want to be perfectly sure the person is a safe person for yourself, building trust a little bit at a time. I have been practising safe hugs for about 10 years now.

Yes the few men we trusted not to hurt us we tried to stay with but they finaly let us know that others said we scared of them they be the only one we known to hurt us with thier word not with their hands.

I guess in a way the ones you trusted were right because you do have some fear but somehow they didn't believe you when you told them that you were not afraid of them. I don't know what to say about them. Why are they so sheepish? It is rather best to be away from them perhaps then.

That why we be alone so much. Thats why we be so lonely when we came here.
Those that believed us to be bad or just scared of those different made others no like us. Now that we have someone talking to us we be scared in what to believe or if they only pertend to hurt us more..

Maybe, just for now, go really slow with these new friends from church. It makes sense. They may be true friends but I am guessing they have their own issues and just in case they are not safe then you have invested only a little. If it works out that you can trust someone, then you both can invest a bit more in each other.

Having said this I am still trying to speak internally to all the parts and trying to get the hurt ones to be a bit more trusting and get the protectors to release me a bit more. It's a constant back and forth.

I talked to some people in a spiritual chat about friends the other day. It really is a complex thing. On PC it is easy to be friendly because we never have to meet but I often wonder what that would look like in real life. I have been thinking that because it feels open to be friendly here on PC it should be like that in person life. For sure PC has afforded a kind of confidence I didn't have have before but even that is a kind of unsure thing in life outside PC. It's probably best to be pretty good friends within the inner family and extend self out after that. It is a big subject for sure.

sorry we just learn to be joined again and we going through so much on all ends.

All the best to you Anderson. It would be good to know what others feel about this subject.

Hunny