well I finally called t, told him i need him to say positive things at the end of the session and he said he would..told him i feel crazy then worse leaving .that was on wednesday
then i called back on sunday and he called back early this afternoon and i told t i wasn't coming back to therapy; and that i felt like a wounded animal. T said therapy is a collaborative effort and that he was wrong and he would change that and i need to speak up more and then i said okay and i would think about it.
then later tonight he calls again and has an opening and we could discuss it and work through it... told him, no, but thank you for calling and that i would probably be back.
I don't feel like such a freak now or worthless... it feels good to know t cares
thanks for every ones help and for listening