Thank you both for recent replies. This is going to be a painful resolution any way. My older son has now involved himself in helping his brother. That son has been married 16 yrs and has kind of stayed on the periphery until now. So perhaps this will help. am encouraging therapist for any all together separate...
my family has never had anything like this occur before. there have been divorces deaths births marriages fights love celebrations happiness sadness.. but this...defys logic and rational thoughts. this is how someone with , well I am not a diagnostician! but it represents to me what sociopathic manipulation can do to a family. very confusing, at first especially, and very painful.